i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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