There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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