I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
