I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
