four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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