no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
