Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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