Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
