I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Someone shit on the floor
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
