i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
