My nipple is on Facebook.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
