I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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