What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
