he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I didn't notice because vodka
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
