i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize