Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize