he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i believe in u and ur pee
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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