I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
