bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
