I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm jealous of your bromance
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize