Capitaan dildo arrescate!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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