Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
