I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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