He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize