It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
