I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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