so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
