i barfeds in our rink
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
