I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
