i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
