your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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