Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
