oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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