How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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