i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i came on her dog
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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