So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Randomize
