There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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