So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize