Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
