Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
