32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
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There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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