Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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