Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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