i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize