I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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