I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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