Umm I'm too high to move.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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