Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I supernannyed him into submission
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
