i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
