Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
