it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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