Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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