We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
