she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
