I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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