did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
